Some years ago, I wrote a short story that made people cry. I shelved it because I don’t like the idea of putting sorrow into the world when so much naturally occurs from life. Despite being busy with another story I thought of this one recently, as well as some other pieces I wrote years ago, and I felt like they should be given a home. Some people say a story isn’t complete until it is in print, shared with the world. (It’s me; I’m some people.) The first magazine I sent it to accepted it. So, I came here to blog the news that my short story Lucy has just been published in Confluence Magazine, which you can buy a digital or print version of via the link here. But I also came to tell you – don’t read it.
Soon after writing this piece I was invited to be one of the speakers at a reading. I chose this story and during the reading a member of the audience began to cry (it wasn’t just tears, it was sobbing). I wrote this piece in about 45 minutes during a commute and I largely didn’t touch it again* so it was an unexpected reaction. (Although, I also previously shared this story with some writer friends and the end was met with silence. They were at a loss for words, from what I assume was collective sorrow, but they could have been thinking “that sucked”, “I wasn’t listening” or “why are we even friends”, who knows.) I didn’t want to make any more changes to the text because I liked the trueness of the character’s voice and I didn’t want to lose it by playing with the text so much it became overwrought. I also didn’t make further changes because I didn’t want to keep going back to that sad story myself.
This isn’t say, The Time Traveller’s Wife (incredibly heart-wrenching, and one of my favourite novels EVER), it doesn’t contain the most beautiful prose. It’s just a story that has a unique perspective and a likeable voice. And it’s kinda sad.
After the reading the audience member approached me and apologised for, in her words, interrupting the reading. During this conversation she cried again, explaining that she felt so moved as she is a parent and empathised with the protagonist. I wasn’t a parent at that time but I am one now and, dudes, this story will hurt your heart if you are one.
If you have already read it, or heard me reading the story in Oxford in 2017 – I’m sorry. I understand that audience member’s reaction on a different level now as I’m a mother too. Before I became a Mum I loved children – now I love children as if all of them were my own. (Mothers across the globe are nodding).
I don’t recall her name now but I have every confidence the lady who cried is a truly wonderful mum raising a happy daughter. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her – I get it. I understand the pain you felt and if you ever read this: don’t be sorry, you didn’t interrupt anything. For you, and anyone else who reads the story, if it helps to know; with every fibre of my being I don’t think my story could EVER be true. God hasn’t made that a reality for children and I have conducted deliberate, intensive, independent and sustained research into confirming the existence of, and learning to know, God so I’m 100% confident in this belief.
A lot of terrible things are actually happening across the world to children, and that’s a sad reality far removed from a completely fictitious story like mine. If you love and want to protect children, please consider Orphan Sponsorship. Your donations can send them to school and give them a hot meal. A lot of charities provide progress reports. I believe you wouldn’t even miss the money, but you would make a tangible difference to a child’s life and help them grow into self-sufficient human beings who contribute to society. Chaos theory suggests the effects of one small action by each of us in this regard could have results of incomprehensible magnitude.
So here’s the news – Lucy has a home at Confluence. Read the rest of the magazine, it’s rather good, but skip my story.
The London Author
Digression: *I know that seasoned writers have just taken a sharp intake of breath, thinking ‘why would you DO that??!’ In case you are not a writer – the ‘seasoneds’ balk because good writers know we MUST edit, edit and edit everything again or ALL WILL BE LOST! No exaggeration.